


The Storm

by Traycer



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-20
Updated: 2011-08-20
Packaged: 2017-10-22 21:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/242621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Traycer/pseuds/Traycer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is acting very strangely and Jack is ultimately forced to make some changes in his life because of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A storm was brewing in Colorado Springs. The wind whipped through the trees, tearing the leaves from the branches and causing the leaves that had already fallen to dance along the ground. Samantha Carter ignored nature’s ballet as she stood there staring at the house. She knew that he was home; she had seen his shadow pass by the windows as he moved through his daily routines, but she stayed where she was, waiting for her chance.

She shivered and pulled her coat closer around her as the wind angrily tousled her hair about her head. Still she stood there, ignoring the promising warmth she could have if she went into the house. Sam wasn’t ready for that yet; everything had to be just right. She figured she only had one chance at this, so she waited, calmly and quietly.

A few cars passed by on their way to God only knew where, but Sam wasn’t interested in them. She slipped her hand into her pocket, feeling the strength build up in her as she touched the cold steel of the gun. Her eyes went back to the window of his house, hoping to see him again, half afraid she would.

A light went on in the house as the darkness seeped into the neighborhood. Still Sam waited, breathing in the sweet smell of rain, knowing she would be drenched if she didn’t do something soon. But now was not the time. She had to know for sure before she made her move.

The street lights came on, illuminating the sidewalk and the dancing leaves, while the thunder in the distance seemed to reflect her mood. She had been dealing with the anger and the feelings of betrayal pretty much all day; it was what had brought her here. He was in there safe and dry, not even realizing that he was going to pay for what he did.

She closed her eyes and lifted her face toward the sky as she felt the first drops of rain. The wind and the thunder giving her the courage that was threatening to dissolve as she waited. She opened them and looked toward the house when the door opened and she heard General O’Neill say, “Carter? Are you just going to stand out there in the rain? Come on in.”

She didn’t answer him, just stood there staring at him. The rain was starting to come down in droves now, but she ignored it. He was standing there on his porch, with his hands in his pockets and smiling at her. Her breathing became rapid as she struggled with the intense rage that had begun in her heart and was now racing through her veins. He was acting like nothing had happened!

“Carter?” he said again, leaning forward to look up at the sky from under the roof of the porch. “It’s gonna get worse. Why don’t you come on inside?”

She continued to stand there, caressing the gun that was still in her pocket. She was starting to doubt her resolve as she stared at her commanding officer. He was so handsome. She knew him inside and out, his quirks and idiosyncrasies, what made him happy and what made him angry, yet she had learned just this morning that he was also a hard boiled bastard who would sell his own mother if the price was right.

Sam watched as the General took one more look up at the sky, then heave a sigh as he stepped off the porch to come over to where she was standing. She didn’t move a muscle, just watched him move closer, panic rising within her as her emotions and feelings toward him came to the surface. She hadn’t counted on this.

The gun was still there and she kept touching it to give her strength and to remind her of why she came. The General walked up to her and bent his knees a little while tilting his head so that he could look into her eyes, which were slightly downcast.

“You know, I don’t mind telling you that you are creeping me out,” he said, reaching out to grab her arm. “I mean, you’ve been standing out here for at least two hours now. What gives?”

“I’m here to take care of something,” she said, raising her eyes to look at him. The rain was pouring down now and the thunder and lightning would have been a spectacular show if she had been paying any attention to it. She was too busy dealing with the storm that was building up in her own heart to even notice.

“Can we take care of it inside?” the General asked with a longing look at his house.

She took a few more minutes to debate her options before nodding her head. He took that as an affirmative and pulled her along after him as he ran toward the house. The warmth of the house immediately began to course through her as she stood just inside the front door. Jack left her there and took off for the back of the house, coming back a few minutes later with two towels, one of which he handed to her while he used the other one to wipe the rain from his own face.

She took the towel, but didn’t move. She had just thought of him as Jack, something she had always avoided at all costs. Her emotions were now at war with themselves and she felt the confusion as she watched him pull the towel away from his face. The Air Force would not allow her to think of him as anything other than her commanding officer. Why is it that all of a sudden he was everything to her? She was here to make him pay, but all she could do was fall apart when he looked at her.

“Carter?” Jack asked, his eyes were now staring at her warily. “Are you okay? Maybe we should go back to the base and have the Doc take a look at you.”

No, she thought, as she shook her head all the while still staring at him. He took the towel away from her and used it to wipe her face, then to blot up the water in her hair. “Will you at least say something? What is the matter with you?”

She couldn’t answer him. The reasons she had for killing him now taking a back seat to the reasons she wanted him to live. She reached up to touch his face, rubbing her thumb across his cheek all the while staring at him, trying to bring back the anger that had brought her there in the first place.

“Carter,” Jack said, taking a step back in panic. “Please talk to me. What were you doing standing out in my neighbor’s yard all this time?” She could see that he was trying to keep his distance and she wasn’t so sure she wanted him to.

“Jack,” she said, moving so that she was as close as she could get without actually touching him. He didn’t move away, but she could tell he wanted to. His brown eyes were fathomless, she noticed as she stared into them.

She was so close she could hear him swallow hard as he stood there staring back at her. He was extremely uncomfortable with their positions, but he still didn’t move away. Instead he said, “Uh Carter? What are you doing?”

“You don’t want me here, do you?” she snarled at him, backing away. This was so like him, keeping the regulations between them like a shield. Never mind what she wanted, what she needed. “Would you rather SHE was here?”

“She?” he asked her with a confused look on his face. “Which she are you talking about?”

“Oh so there’s more than one?” she asked, the anger she harbored earlier building back up in her heart, the thunder of the storm outside mirroring the anger raging within her.

“Colonel, if you don’t tell me what this is all about in the next two minutes,” Jack threatened.

“I saw you with her this morning,” she snarled at him, her eyes taking in the confused look on his face. She wanted to shoot him where he stood, all the while wishing he was kissing her senseless.

“Well, that narrows it down some,” he snarled back at her. He was now glaring at her, which helped her to hang on to the fragile threads of her anger. “What’s it to you who I talk to?” he asked her indignantly.

Her response was to pull the gun out of her pocket and point it at his heart. “You have no right hanging onto other women, knowing what I feel for you,” she said evenly. His only reaction to having a gun pointed at him were the emotions that flashed across his face as he realized what she was thinking.

He finally reacted by reaching out his hand toward her. “Put the gun down, Carter,” he said. “You don’t want to hurt me. In fact, I think that you may have run across something on that planet you visited yesterday. We are forever bringing stuff back through the Gate.” His expression faltered then, as he asked her tentatively, “It is Carter I’m talking to, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” she said. Why couldn’t he see that? She knew he had feelings for her and she had finally decided to tell him exactly how she felt, only to see him kissing that blond bitch in his office this morning. Jack was in love with her, Samantha Carter, not that witch he held in his arms just that morning.

“Why were you kissing her?” she asked him, holding the gun steady.

“Kissing who?” he asked impatiently. “Look Carter, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why don’t you just put the gun down so that we can talk about this,” he continued as he moved closer to her. He was holding his hand out, begging her with his eyes to give the gun to him, but she couldn’t let him hurt her like that ever again. He stopped when she cocked the gun, daring him to take another step closer.

Oh God, she thought, as she stared at him. She was not going to be able to go through with it, she just knew it. The hand that was holding the gun began to shake as her emotions started fighting with each other again.

“Carter,” he said quietly. “You really don’t want to shoot me, do you?”

She didn’t move, just stood there with the gun aimed at his heart. She tried to steady the gun by using her other hand to help support it, but she knew she would never use it against him. She blinked as the tears she had been holding back all day welled up in her eyes. “Jack?” she said as she lowered the gun.

A huge clap of thunder rolled through the house, but Sam was too lost in her own grief to realize it. She collapsed to her knees, folding her arms around her stomach and began to rock back and forth as she sobbed out her frustrations. She cried even harder when she felt herself being pulled into Jack’s arms. He held her while the anger and the feelings of betrayal that had grown in her heart since that scene in his office worked their way out through her tears.

She stayed in his embrace long after the tears had abated; hanging onto him and pulling him close every time he tried to sit back. This was where she belonged, in his arms, and she was afraid she would lose him forever if she let him go.

“Hey, you ready to go back to the mountain to see the Doc?” he asked her after awhile.

She shook her head, then sat up to look at him. “Not now,” she said just before she grabbed his head and kissed him with everything that she had. He resisted her after a few seconds, pulling back forcibly and holding her off by her shoulders.

“This reminds me of that time…” he started to say, but stopped when she put her finger to his lips to shush him. “What do you really want?” she asked him, desperately needing to know his true feelings for her.

“Carter,” he said on a sigh, “You know we can’t get into this. C’mon, let’s go see the Doc,” he coaxed.

“I have to know,” she insisted. “I mean, you’ve told me before that you care a lot about me, but we’ve never talked about those feelings.” Her anger took hold again as she thought about what she had seen earlier that day. “Then the next thing I know, you’re kissing that bitch!” she spat out, anger making her look for the gun again. Damn, Jack was holding on to it!

“I didn’t kiss anyone this morning,” he responded, warily. “I think I would have remembered if I had.”

“Oh come on Jack, I saw you. It should have been me you were kissing,” she said, as she began to calm down. “I love you Jack. I have for a long time now,” she found herself admitting.

Jack didn’t acknowledge her statement. She could see the wheels turning in his mind as he stared at her, trying to figure out what she was doing. “Jack?” she said taking a deep breath to gather the courage she needed to ask her next question. “Do you love me?”

He sat there for a few seconds longer as she held her breath, waiting for his response. “Carter...” he began, then stopped to take his own deep breath. “Let’s just go see the Doc, okay?” he insisted, taking her by the arm and pulling her up off the floor and toward the door. He stopped when he realized that he didn’t have his keys and he released her so that he could go find them.

She didn’t move as she watched him hunt for his keys, her heart aching as she dwelled on the fact that he didn’t answer her question. Why wouldn’t he just admit it, she wondered. The more he denied it, the more anguish he caused them both. She knew without a doubt that she had to make him admit it, for both their sakes.

With that in mind, she pulled off her coat and dropped it on the floor where she stood. “I’m not going back to the mountain right now,” she said. Jack turned toward her when she’d said that and she saw a flash of impatience in his expression before he hid it and turned back to the task of finding his keys.

“Yes you are Carter,” he said, “Just as soon as I find those keys.”

“Jack,” she said.

“Don’t argue with me about this Carter,” Jack said, then gave her a triumphant look as he held the keys up high for her to see. “Let’s go.”

She smiled at him before turning to walk down the hallway toward the back of the house. She knew where she was going and apparently so did he because he came bounding down the hallway saying, “Oh no you don’t. The front door is this way.”

“Yes, but your bedroom is this way,” she said. She continued down the hallway until she came to the bedroom door, unable to go through it because Jack had grabbed her arm to pull her back. She took that opportunity to turn in his arms and kiss him again. He was weakening, she could tell, as this time he kissed her back.

He pulled back from the kiss and took a few seconds to get his breathing under control. “We can’t do this,” he said sadly. “Not while I’m your CO.” He looked away for a moment, then back at her and she wanted to cry at the heartbreak she saw in his eyes.

“Yes we can,” she told him. “We can do anything if we wanted it badly enough. I want this badly enough,” she told him. Say it Jack, she pleaded silently. I need to hear you say it.

Jack just shook his head with finality. “We can’t do this, Carter.”

“Yes we can,” she snapped at him. Why does he have to be so stubborn? She loved him and he loved her. How hard is that? “I love you Jack O’Neill. Do you love me?” She’d punch his lights out if he avoided this question again.

“Let’s talk about this after the Doctor has had a chance to look you over, okay?” Jack said, apparently unaware that he was in danger of getting the crap kicked out of him.

“Let’s talk about it now,” she growled at him. “Look, either you do or you don’t,” she raged. “It’s not really that hard to say. You open your mouth and let the words come out. How hard is that?”

“Colonel,” Jack ground out.

“Either you do or you don’t,” she said again. “Well?”

“I do,” he shouted at her. “Are you happy now? There’s not a damn thing we can do about it, but I’ve said it.” He sighed, then took a deep breath before asking, “Can we go see the Doc now?” The calmness of his words contradicted the anger simmering in his eyes.

“There is something we can do about it,” she smirked as she put her arms around his neck. Her own anger appeasing as she realized that he wasn’t resisting her as she pulled him in for another kiss.

“Sam,” he said between kisses. “We can’t be doing this. It’s against…” She wouldn’t let him finish that thought, the exhilaration flowing through her when she’d heard him use her name. She kissed him more passionately, while at the same time dragging him along with her through the bedroom door.

“Oy,” he said with a smile when she let him up for air. She smiled back at him as she came back in for more. “I just know I’m going to regret this,” he told her just before their lips met again.


	2. Chapter 2

The storm outside had finally stopped raging, Jack noticed, as he stood at his bedroom window dressed only in his boxers and staring out at the darkness. He’d just had the most incredible experience with Sam Carter and the guilt building up in him was overwhelming. He was in big trouble and he couldn’t even begin to straighten out his thoughts on how he was going to fix the mess he had let himself be dragged into.

Sam stirred and Jack turned toward the bed to see if she was awake. Her breathing told him that she was still asleep and he found himself staring at her, the sheet barely covering the more interesting parts. He turned back toward the window to keep his mind from dwelling on those “interesting parts”.

It was Sam’s mind he needed to think about. He thought back on the events of the evening before, when he’d first noticed her standing under the tree in his neighbor’s yard, staring at his house. He had waited for her to come over, but decided to wait for her to make her move when she didn’t. He had gone about his business, getting up every once in awhile to check on her, before finally deciding to make contact with her when the rain made its appearance. He really got worried when she wouldn’t respond to his questions, just stood there staring at him. The concern turned to fear when he realized that she was ranting at him one minute, happy the next, than back to ranting. It had his head swimming trying to keep up with her moods.

He turned back to the bed, debating if he should get back into it. Sam sighed and opened her eyes, then smiled at him as she stretched. “Jack,” she said in a voice that had him thinking about those “interesting parts” again. “Regrets?” she asked, the velvety tones of the voice she’d used to say his name were now replaced with a trace of anger.

“No,” he said warily, wondering whether she was angry or happy. Women were hard to understand at the best of times, he didn’t think he was up to dealing with rapidly changing mood swings at this hour of the night. “Sam,” he said quietly, coming to sit down on the bed. “Did you eat or drink anything on that planet? Anything that would explain your behavior?” Yep, he thought, it was definitely anger.

“Just because I have finally decided to come clean with my feelings for you, you automatically think I’m under some kind of alien influence,” she growled at him. “Typical male response.”

“I think my first clue was when you started waving a gun at me,” Jack said, trying to reason with her. “Come on Carter, don’t you see it? I mean you stand out in my yard for hours at a time, come in here pointing a gun at me, accusing me of kissing some woman and to top it all off, I’m having a hard time keeping up with your mood swings. I don’t know about you, but in my book all that stuff means there is definitely something wrong here.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” she insisted. “And I saw you with her, you can’t deny it. You profess your love for me, then turn around and make out with the first woman you find.”

“There is no other woman,” he growled. “Come on. We are going to pay a little visit with the Doc at SGC and that’s an order Carter. Don’t even think of disobeying it.” With that said, he got up off the bed and grabbed his pants from where they had been carelessly dropped.

“You expect me to be the good little Colonel after the night we’ve just had?” she asked incredulously. “I don’t think so, Jack. Come back to bed. We can go in the morning.”

“We’re going now Carter,” he said as he pulled the pants on. “Move it Colonel.”

“No sir,” she said, her eyes blazing as she stubbornly crossed her arms over her chest. “You want me to go with you, you come and get me.”

That clinched it. He was definitely dealing with a bad case of “alien flu”. Carter would never have dared to defy him like this. Ever. He didn’t go get her though, afraid that if he got anywhere near her in her current state of undress he may just find himself taking a shot at having another incredible experience with his former second in command. He could call someone to come and get them, but he was in enough trouble as it was. He didn’t think having others finding her in his bed would make things any easier. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before turning toward her. “Please?” he asked, hoping that begging was the key to getting his way.

“Come and get me,” she said, her voice had softened considerably and Jack knew she was on the rebound, no longer angry. He decided to just bite the bullet and get this over with. He grabbed her shirt off of the floor and took it over to the bed, intending to force her to put it on. She didn’t move, just stared at him, and he sighed knowing that this was going to be a lot more difficult than he thought.

He sat down on the bed, holding the shirt out to her. She grinned at him, but still didn’t move. “Put it on Carter,” he snarled at her. Nothing happened. She continued to grin at him while at the same time staring at him, daring him to touch her. “Carter,” he growled. “In a few minutes, I will be calling for a driver to come and pick us up. Do you want that driver to find you here in your birthday suit?”

“You won’t call,” she said smugly. “Come back to bed. We’ll go see the Doctor in the morning. In the meantime, we need to do something to make you forget about that bitch you had your arms around this morning. Or was it yesterday morning?”

“There was no woman, Carter,” Jack said once again. He was getting tired of repeating himself. He took the shirt and tried to pull it over her head. He didn’t get too far with his efforts and it wasn’t long before he decided he really didn’t want to leave right then after all.

**********************************************

Jack had plenty of time to assess the situation of the time spent in Carter’s arms. She had collapsed on him at breakfast, right in the middle of her ranting at him about the toast being burned. It scared him half to death, although he should have expected it. He thought about his predicament as he waited for the medics from Cheyenne Mountain to show up, during the ride in the back of the ambulance and in the infirmary itself, as the staff went to work to find out what was wrong. He spent his time trying to figure out what he should do about it, all the while worrying about Carter’s condition.

A half hour after he arrived at the infirmary, he got a call from a local hospital telling him that one Daniel Jackson had been brought there after he had collapsed in a diner. Jack dragged himself away from Carter’s side only long enough to move heaven and earth to have Daniel transferred to the infirmary, all the while trying hard not to think about what the non-military doctors might find during any tests they may have performed on the Archeologist.

He found Teal’c sitting on the bed next to Carter’s when he got back to her room. A nurse was taking a blood sample and Jack grimaced before turning away to check on Carter. She was still asleep, a serene look on her face.

“Will Daniel Jackson be arriving soon?” Teal’c asked.

Jack turned toward his friend, giving him a nod while at the same time watching him for any signs of the illness that had affected his teammates. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I am not experiencing any of the symptoms that have plagued Colonel Carter,” Teal’c announced. “There is nothing wrong with me.”

“That’s what Carter said,” Jack replied wearily. He wondered if life would ever be normal for him. “You may not be aware of any changes.”

“That may be,” Teal’c said, then sighed heavily as the doctor came to shine a light into his eyes. Jack had to grin at that. Looking at that damned light was an occupational hazard, something that couldn’t be avoided no matter how much they grumbled about it.

“Any ideas about what’s wrong with Carter?” Jack asked the doctor.

“There was nothing in the initial blood work taken when she returned from her last mission and I am still waiting for the results of the tests we’ve run this morning. I won’t have an answer for you until I get the results back for all three members of SG-1 sir,” she replied.

“There may have been something in the beverage Colonel Carter and Daniel Jackson drank during the evening meal on P3C-476,” Teal’c spoke up. “I did not partake of it.”

“What was it?” Jack asked. This wouldn’t be the first time someone became ill after ingesting alien food and drink. His own experiences attested to that fact.

“It was made from a fruit called a grolote. According to Daniel Jackson, it is similar to what the Tau’ri call a peach. Colonel Carter was pleased with the flavor and drank quite a bit of it.”

“That would explain why Teal’c hasn’t had any of the symptoms,” Doctor Brightman said. “Is there some way we could get a sample of the drink or a piece of the fruit?”

“I will go back to the planet to procure these items for you,” Teal’c said.

“Make sure you come right back,” Jack agreed. “I want you here if you start having any of the symptoms. Don’t make me have to track you down Teal’c.”

“There will be no need,” Teal’c said with a grin. “I will return as soon as possible.”

“See that you do,” Jack said to get the last word in. He went over to the chair he had set next to Carter’s bed and sat down to begin his vigil.


	3. Chapter 3

  
Sam escaped the darkness of her dreams by opening her eyes, only to find she was still cloaked in darkness. She wondered what time it was, then realized that there was an insistent beeping somewhere in the room she was in. She turned her head to find the source and was surprised to find herself in the infirmary. Okay, she thought. What happened this time?

She turned to look across the room, then smiled when she heard a deep, warm voice say, “Welcome back, Carter. We’ve missed you.”

She turned again to find him and sighed as the memories of a stormy night came to her. “Sir,” she said as she stared at the General. “What happened? Why am I here?”

“You passed out,” he responded, “In my kitchen, no less.” She felt her heart constrict as she watched him standing there next to her bed, his hands in his pockets. He had a smile on his face, but she could tell that there was something he was hiding from her.

“Was I sick?” she asked, confusion and sadness moving into her soul. Had she dreamed that night? He didn’t act like they had shared their feelings at all.

“You drank something that didn’t agree with you on your last mission,” he responded. “How many times do I have to tell you to go easy on that stuff?” This was said with a grin and she smiled back at him through her confusion.

“Daniel and Teal’c?” she asked, the welfare of her teammates moving into top priority.

“Daniel apparently enjoyed the drink as much as you did. He’s sleeping it off in the next room. Teal’c… well, you know Teal’c. He’s got an aversion to almost anything he doesn’t recognize.”

Sam’s relief was short lived as flashes of memories were running rampant through her mind. Her eyes grew wide as she stared at the General, hoping that those memories were from nightmares and not reality. “How long have I been in here?” she asked, dread making her voice come out in a squeak.

“A couple days,” the General said with a shrug. “Well, it was more like five, but I swear I wasn’t counting.”

Five days, she thought. Plenty of time to have all kinds of nightmares. Scary ones, like pointing a gun at her superior officer and dragging him off to his bed. Oh God. Sam briefly wondered what it would be like living in a Federal penitentiary as the memories assaulted her from all sides.

“Hey Carter, you going to be okay?” the General asked, concern written all over his face. “I’ll go call the Doctor,” he added as he turned toward the door.

“No! Please, I’m fine,” she replied. “Um… sir? Did I do anything… stupid while I was… well, you know… out of it?” Please say no, she pleaded silently. Her heart sank as the emotionless mask came over his features. He’s definitely hiding something.

“Nothing to worry about,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “Just did a little dance on the table with a lampshade on your head.” He gave her a full smile then, which told her that he was only kidding. She felt like crying when she realized that those memories were true.

“I’ve messed things up pretty badly, haven’t I?” she asked quietly, as she stared into his eyes. The smile disappeared from his face, replaced by a wary look.

“Carter,” he began, then stopped for a few seconds to reevaluate his words. “You were under an alien influence. Nobody will blame you for anything you did during that time.”

“I have some memories,” she said, watching him for his reaction. “Really good memories. Did you mean what you said?”

“Get some sleep Carter,” he replied. “The Doc says you can get out of here within days after you wake up. The more rest you get, the better your chances are of breaking out of this joint.”

He’s doing it again. “You’re avoiding the question again,” she said. “I remember thinking about kicking your ass the last time you avoided that question. Sir,” she added, when she realized that she just may have threatened her CO. Great Sam, she thought to herself. Digging that grave would go a lot easier with a shovel. “Begging your pardon sir,” she said with a sheepish look.

Relief flowed through her, however, when he grinned at her. “I’m just happy that I won’t have to deal with the mood swings. Men were not made to deal with mood swings Carter,” he said gravely.

She grinned at that, relief that he wasn’t mad at her making her feel much better. She wondered if she dared take the subject further. They really did need to get this out in the open though, so that she could move on with no regrets.

“I meant what I said,” she told him, staring into his eyes. He didn’t respond, just stood there staring back at her. Sam wondered what he was thinking, while at the same time dreading that she might find out. “You know… about loving you.”

“Look Carter. I’ve had some time to think about this,” he finally spoke up. “Five days, in fact. The one thing I can’t get out of my head is the fact that you were under an alien influence. I wasn’t. I should have put a stop to it.”

“Why didn’t you?” Sam asked. She knew the reason, but maybe hearing him say it…. Damn, what had she done?

He looked over toward the monitors that she was hooked up to, not saying anything. Sam was suddenly overwhelmed by the whole situation. “You don’t have to answer that,” she told him. “It’s not that important.”

“I was thinking of retiring again,” he said. “I liked being retired. Yeah. I think I’ll retire.”

Sam just shook her head. He wasn’t very convincing. “Why?” she asked him in all seriousness. “What could you gain by retiring?”

“Well, for starters, uh… you.”

“Me?” There was that squeak again. This was all moving just a little too fast for her. She didn’t want him to think he had to retire because of her mistakes. He was trying to be a damned hero again, she groused to herself.

“You,” he said grinning at her again. The grin changed to a hopeful look and Sam almost fell for it all, hook, line and sinker.

“Sir,” she started, then sighed. “I don’t want to be the reason for you giving all this up. And I definitely don’t want to find out you only did this because you felt obligated to do it due to the regulations. God, I think that would destroy me,” she continued as she thought about the repercussions of what he was saying.

“I don’t want to destroy you Sam,” he said softly, picking up her hand and running his thumb across her palm. “Will you marry me?”

Sam was speechless. She had several unanswered questions and fears regarding their relationship and this guy just ups and asks her to marry him. What was up with that?

“No,” she finally said, surprising him. “Not until you answer every last one of my questions.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him stubbornly. She had to know if he really and truly loved her.

“What questions?” he asked her warily. She could tell he was starting to get uncomfortable with the route this conversation was going, but right now she didn’t care. He’d asked her to marry him, for crying out loud!

“First and foremost, do you love me?” she said. “Secondly, why do you really want to marry me? And finally, at least for now, do you really and truly want this?”

“I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t want to,” he said patiently. “Look, the regulations are clear. We crossed the line, now we pay the price. It’s better that I do the stepping down, because the SGC needs you more than it needs me. Since I have to step down, I am now free to follow my heart.” He gave her a smug look then and said, “I came up with that ‘follow my heart’ stuff all by myself. Didn’t think I had it in me, did you?”

Sam couldn’t help the grin that came to her face. “No sir,” she admitted. The grin faded as she brought her thoughts back to the topic at hand. “You didn’t answer my questions,” she reminded him.

“I’ve had five days to think about this Sam,” he said. “There’s no way around the fact that I didn’t put a stop to what we’ve done. Now I have to pay the price. I’ve been thinking of retiring anyway.” He stopped, then with a quizzical look on his face, asked. “What were your questions again?”

Sam just shook her head. “Never mind,” she said, as her heart threatened to break under the strain. He had answered her questions by not saying anything. The fact that he was stalling told her more than his words could ever have. “I’m really tired sir. I think I’ll get some sleep now.”

He nodded at her before saying, “We’ll talk about this tomorrow.” He backed up, but stopped to tell her, “I’m glad you remembered that incident Sam.”

Sam didn’t respond. She couldn’t. Her mind had gone numb. Tears sprang up in her eyes, making it hard to see his face as the pain hit her in the stomach and worked its way up to her heart. Oh God.

“Sam?” he said urgently. “What’s wrong? I’m going to get the Doc.”

“You weren’t going to do anything if I hadn’t remembered, were you,” she asked, effectively stopping him in his tracks. “You were going to go on as if nothing happened, weren’t you?” She knew her voice was rising, but she couldn’t help it. The heaviness settling in her chest was crushing her. “Your intention to retire and to marry me was all because I remembered that night and not because you wanted to. And to think I almost believed you.”

“It’s not like that Sam.” He growled. “You have it all wrong. I want to…” he stopped when the door opened and a nurse stuck her head in the door.

“Excuse me General. I have to get some vitals… Oh, you’re awake,” she said to Sam. “How are you feeling? I’ll just get your blood pressure reading and take your temp, then go get the doctor. You had us all worried for awhile.”

Sam turned her head toward the wall, away from the nurse. She stared at the wall while the nurse coaxed her into putting the thermometer into her mouth. She complied, but wouldn’t look back to see if the General was still there. She knew that he was. He wouldn’t want to leave things hanging like this, she thought angrily.

The nurse finally finished and left the room. Sam continued to stare at the wall, the anger building to an all-encompassing rage. She tried to control it, the soldier in her afraid to upset the General while the woman in her wanted to scratch his eyes out. She closed her eyes when she heard the General say quietly, “I may have to retire Sam, but I don’t have to marry you. I want to marry you. Get some rest. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

“Yes sir,” she said in her best soldier voice. The one she used when she didn’t agree with a superior officer, but had to give in anyway. She didn’t look back at him, knowing by instinct that he was still standing there trying to come up with the right words to say. She just wanted him to leave.

“I love you Sam,” he said.

“Goodnight sir,” she replied stubbornly. She wasn’t going to fall for that again.

“Night,” he responded. Sam closed her eyes against the sound of the door closing behind him as he left. She had no one to blame for this but herself, she raged inwardly. What was she thinking? He had never given any indication that he loved her before; just that he cared about her. She felt like such an idiot.

She stiffened when she heard the door open again, wondering why he’d come back and what he was going to say this time. She relaxed when she realized it was the doctor coming to give her a thorough going over. She gave in to the questions and the penlight, all the while trying not to deal with the betrayal of her heart.

*********************

The General came back the next day as promised, bearing gifts. “I though you might want this,” he said gruffly as he laid her laptop down on the table next to her bed.

“Thank you sir,” she said, pleased by his thoughtfulness. She had been a little bored lying there with nothing to do but think. Now she could finish up those calculations she had been working on.

“Just don’t overdo it,” he insisted. “I had to smuggle this thing in here as it is.”

“I won’t sir. Thank you.” She’d had plenty of time to think things through and had finally decided to just play it like she had done for the last six or seven years, keep her feelings to herself. Now all she had to do was to convince him to do the same.

“Um… sir? I want to apologize for everything that’s happened. I know I’ve made things worse for us, but I’m willing to go on as we’ve always done…”

“I just got off the phone with Hammond,” he broke in. “He’s a little disappointed, but I think he wants to find a way around my retiring. Personally, I’m ready to retire, but… well, you know how it is.”

“You talked with Hammond?” she asked, as she stared at him in shock.

“Yeah,” he replied with a shrug. “I will officially be among the millions of other retired people who end up sitting around watching the dandelions grow in the backyard. I’m looking forward to it, actually.”

Sam didn’t believe him. She knew him too well to think he would give up so easily. All this talk was pure bravado. “You didn’t have to do that sir. We could have gone on like we had for all this time.”

“I had to do it Sam. I had no choice. The regulations demand that I do it.”

“To hell with the regulations,” Sam snarled. “I am sick to death of those damned regulations.”

The General looked at her in surprise before saying, “Nothing changes the fact that I was not under an alien influence Sam. We can’t just ignore this.”

Sam knew he was right, but she still wanted to fight it. If he retired, she wouldn’t get to see him at all. She had assumed that she would be able to talk him out of telling anyone about that night, that things would go back to the way they used to be. Now she was going to lose him for good.

The silence that had been building was finally broken when the General tried once again to make her understand. “Look Sam, I’m not very good with words, especially when it comes to...” he sighed, then sat down in the chair next to her bed and grabbed her hand. “I know I’m not the greatest catch in the world, but I just thought that maybe we could give us a chance?” He was watching her with a hopeful look on his face and Sam had a sudden urge to break down and cry.

“Sir…” she began.

“Hey. Now I realize that I’m still your commanding officer for the next three weeks, but due to the circumstances, I think it would be okay for you to call me Jack – at least when we are alone.”

“I’m sorry sir,” she said sadly. She couldn’t give him what he wanted. She was too afraid to give him what he wanted. Instead she held up her refusal to give in like a shield, holding him off, hoping that it would be strong enough to protect her heart.

“Sam,” he said as he leaned in toward her. “I get the feeling that you are turning me down. I would much rather hear you say that you are happy for me and that you want to marry me. We could go to a nice quiet cabin in Minnesota for our honeymoon,” he added enticingly.

“Sounds lovely,” she said dryly, causing him to smile at her. Her own smile dimmed as she said, “Sir, I appreciate what you’ve done to try to rectify my behavior, but I don’t think…”

“Listen to me Sam,” he said getting up off of the chair to lean over the bed, “I’m only going to say this one more time. The regulations do not say anything about me being forced to marry you. I am asking you because I realized that I needed to do this for myself. It’s what I want more than anything right now. If you say no, it should be because you don’t love me, not because you think I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart.”

Why couldn’t he have said this yesterday, Sam wondered as she stared into his eyes. The shield she had held up before her earlier was weakening and she couldn’t help the smile that came to her face as she realized the truth. He loved her.

“A quiet cabin in Minnesota,” she mused out loud. “Can I bring my laptop?”

He has such a beautiful smile, she thought as he leaned down to kiss her. She rarely got to see that smile. That’s going to change, she vowed as she returned the kiss, wondering what he would say to her desire to have children. She’ll just wait a couple of days before asking him.


	4. Chapter 4

Retirement did have its advantages, Jack thought as he watched the winds cause havoc amongst the waves in the lake. A storm was raging in the Minnesota skies and he was sitting in a chair on the porch at his cabin watching the show.

He breathed in the scent of the rain and the woods surrounding his house and knew at that moment that life couldn’t get any better than this. Nothing could be better than this.

“It’s so beautiful,” Sam said through the screen door causing him to smile as he turned to look at her. This was his own piece of heaven and he was glad she was here to share it with him.

“Yes, it is,” he replied, as he turned back to watch the show. Lightning chose that moment to light up the sky and Jack waited for the thunder to make its presence known. His thoughts went back to another stormy night when his whole life had changed, for the better in his opinion. He looked back at Sam when she opened the door to come out and join him, his gaze following her as she walked over to sit next to him.

They watched the storm in silence, Jack still thinking about the other storm that had pushed him to make a decision regarding his feelings toward Samantha Carter. It was one of his most brilliant decisions, he decided happily.

“Jack?” Sam said as she took his hand in hers. “Do you remember that night when I was…” she looked at him helplessly, then continued, “It was storming then.”

“When you were plastered to the ceiling?” he asked her with a grin. The grin turned to a full smile when she glared at him.

“Never mind,” she snarled, then grinned when he waggled his eyebrows at her. She looked back out toward the lake trying hard to hide the grin. Jack felt the tug on his heart as he realized how much he really loved her.

“That stuff was really potent,” she said. “I still can’t believe it was their version of moonshine. It tasted like peaches.”

“So does Peach Schnapps,” Jack retorted.

“Yeah, well Peach Schnapps also tastes like liquor,” she said defensively. “Besides, it wasn’t the grolote that caused the hallucinations and made that stuff so lethal.” They sat in silence again as the storm continued to wage its war around them. Jack glanced over at Sam when she sighed and found himself wondering what she was thinking. Happy thoughts, he hoped.

“Penny for you thoughts,” he prompted.

She smiled at him, but didn’t say anything. Instead she reached over and kissed him, pulling back to stare into his eyes. “That storm changed our lives,” she whispered. “This one is going to do the same.” Jack watched her, wondering what she was talking about. He so hoped it would be a good change. “I just found out that I’m pregnant,” she said holding up a little plastic wand. “Let’s go celebrate, Daddy.”

Thunder rolled through the sky, but Jack’s attention was on only one thing, his wife and what she’d just told him. “Pregnant?” he asked numbly. “A baby?”

“C’mon Flyboy,” she said, getting up from her chair and tugging on his hand to get him to do the same. “There’s no use wasting a good storm.”

“A baby,” he said as a huge grin took over his features. Oh yeah, life couldn’t get any better than this.


End file.
